In order to build healthy relationships, people prone to emotional dependency need to strengthen their self-esteem and self-confidence and work through possible traumas, fears or difficult experiences.

We are social beings. Therefore, we depend on others. A healthy sense of belonging and constructive relationships are crucial for our well-being. But emotional dependence describes a relationship that can lead to giving up on oneself.

In our volatile and fast-paced society, emotional responsibility is a rare commodity. Many people also suffer from low self-esteem or the inability to build healthy relationships. Time and again, there is a great need for attention, care and affection, which can lead to over-dependence in relationships. We invite you to reflect on this topic with us today.

What is emotional dependence?

Emotional dependence results from an excessive desire for attention, recognition or affirmation from an important caregiver, usually within a partnership. The dependent person believes that he or she cannot live without the partner.

The psychologist Ana Estévez found out in a study that nowadays there is a strong dependence on the internet and mobile phones. This can already be observed in young people, who develop an impulsive need to be constantly connected to other people. Those affected tend to have anxious-depressive symptoms and low self-esteem.

This problematic and harmful behaviour can lead to situations of emotional abuse. In such cases, professional help is essential to identify the problem, develop a healthy way of dealing with feelings and build constructive relationships.

Main causes of emotional dependence

Every person is unique. He has different experiences that shape and mould him. The causes of emotional dependence are therefore very complex and as varied and different as we are as people.

The following triggers are mentioned in a publication of the journal Psychology and Personality:

• Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence can feed the need to always need validation and recognition in order to feel valued and accepted.

• Insecurity and lack of confidence in the strength of emotional bonds cause some people to feel vulnerable and seek safety or protection from others.

• The need for affection, love, friendship and attention can lead to emotional dependency, especially if the person concerned has not received enough affection and warmth in their life.

• Emotional trauma can leave deep scars. Victims often seek security and support in a relationship, which can lead to emotional dependence.

• Victims of abuse are more likely to develop emotional dependence. They find it difficult to build healthy relationships.

Symptoms and consequences

Emotional dependence manifests itself in a number of common symptoms:

• Constant need for attention

• Desire to always be close to the other person

• Fear of abandonment and loneliness

• Lack of self-esteem

• Inability to make decisions

• Tendency to victimise

​​

There are no differences between men and women when it comes to emotional dependence, according to a recent study by a team of psychologists at the Universidad Complutense de Madrid. Anyone can suffer from the consequences. Obsessive thoughts, sleep disorders and social withdrawal are among them.

Emotional dependence can have serious consequences if those affected do not receive psychological help in time. People with depression often feel constricted in their relationship and cannot develop. Their dependency keeps them stuck even though they experience grief, sadness and often depression or anxiety.

Psychological support

To get to the bottom of their problems and to deal with fears, traumas or difficult feelings, emotionally dependent people need psychological support. They need strategies to strengthen their self-esteem and self-confidence and to build healthy relationships.